A Most Puzzling Day
by Shirotora chan
Summary: In which Harry has a most confusing and curious day. Why does everyone keep calling him by a name that is most certainly not his? And why is a raven like a writing desk?
1. Chapter 1

**A Most Puzzling Day**

**Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN ANY OF IT. *sob***

"Hello, Tarrant," a pale teenage girl with long blonde hair said happily as she skipped down a corridor. "Lovely to see you again."

"I... er, what?" A young man with black hair replied with no small amount of confusion. "I'm sorry miss, but my name isn't Tarrant... It's Harry."

The blonde girl stopped to look at the boy—Harry, did he say? No, she was pretty sure he was Tarrant... even if he did look different. Gone was the poofy red hair, the paleness, and the quirky smile. What she saw was messy black hair, startling green eyes and... something else. "Is it change your name day, then? If that's the case, you can call me Luna. But I'm really Alice. Even though you already knew that, didn't you Tarrant?"

Harry blinked twice. He had never met this girl before, and yet she was calling him a strange name that... seemed familiar to him in some way. Just like her. She was a complete stranger, and yet something inside Harry was telling him to hold her close and to not lose her again. He shook his head quickly. Where had that thought come from? Again? He had just gone over the fact that she was a complete stranger. "Well, it was nice meeting you, Alice—er, Luna, whoever you are," Harry said politely before continuing down the hallway.

"Tarrant?" she called back to him. He turned back, and raised an eyebrow. "Why is a raven like a writing desk?"

"No idea, sorry," Harry said shrugging, "If that's it..." he trailed off, gesturing towards his classroom.

"For now," Luna/Alice laughed, before continuing on her way and passing another boy in the hallway, "Oh! Hello there Chess!"

Harry turned around at that, and saw the strange blonde was talking to Neville this time. Did she just call him Chess? He shook his head and entered the classroom. Harry walked over to Hermione and Ron and sat down at a near-by desk.

"What took you so long, mate?" Ron asked.

"Some strange girl, Luna, I think, although she said her name was Alice, stopped me," Harry replied, still confused about that strange encounter.

"Oh, you must mean Luna Lovegood. She is quite... odd," Hermione added in.

"Hello Tarrant," a familiar voice chimed in. Harry turned to see Neville.

"Not you too, Nev? First that Luna girl and—" Harry said before being cut off.

"Alice, Tarrant. Her name is Alice. And I am Chess. Chessur. Really Tarrant. If I didn't know that you were already mad, this would have proven it!" Neville gave him an extraordinarily large smile that was both disturbing yet painfully familiar to Harry, just like that Luna/Alice girl was.

"Neville, what are you going on about?" asked Ron. "You're not making any sense at all!"

Neville just gave that wide smile again, (_Merlin, are his teeth pointed?_ Harry asked himself), winked at Harry, and then turned to the front of the room.

By the end of the day, Harry was beyond confused. That Luna/Alice girl came up to him again, asking him if he wanted to have a tea party in the middle of the Great Hall, accompanied by, of all people, Draco Malfoy, who insisted that his name was (March Hare), Ernie MacMallan, who claimed that he was McTwisp, and Padma Patil, who said that her name was Mallyumkin. None of it made any sense, and Harry wondered about the possibility that the twins had decided to prank all of those people at the same time in order to drive Harry mad. Whatever it was, it was extremely peculiar, and he wasn't sure what to do about it.

Refusing to think about it anymore, Harry climbed the staircase to the boy's dormitories and got ready for bed. By the time his head hit the pillow, he was fast asleep, and all night, he dreamed of a blonde girl named Alice, a March Hare, a grinning cat that could float and vanish into thin air, a white rabbit, and a mouse who had a tea party with him and called him Hatter or Tarrant.

**So... I'm not even sure where this came from. It just happened. I may add another chapter. I may not. Depends on your feedback. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: STILL DON'T OWN IT. *sigh***

The dreams had continued for a month. Reality started slipping... or becoming more clear? It was rather curious, but when Harry woke up one day, he remembered all of those dreams from the night before. Except that they weren't only dreams. They were memories too. He suddenly understood why Alice had called him Tarrant. Because he was. Tarrant that is. And he was overjoyed to know that most of his friends from Underland, and of course, _Alice_, was back in this strange and new world called Hogwarts.

_Wait. Alice is here. Alice who I haven't seen since she left Underland._ Tarrant/Harry thought. _I must find her._

With that thought in mind, the young man sprang out of bed and turned to Chess, who looked unusually human and was called Neville. "Chess," he hissed. "Where's Alice?"

Neville rolled over to look at him, "So you've finally remembered, have you? She should be wandering around the castle somewhere. Best of luck Tarrant." With that, Chess rolled over again, and fell asleep.

Tarrant laughed and walked out the door and out of the common room. Walking, however, seemed far too ordinary to express how happy he was to be able to see Alice again. Skipping, however, seemed like a perfectly great way to express his joy. Skipping down the corridor, he realized that he had no idea where Alice would be.

_Hm... Well, what did Alice like to do?_ Harry thought to himself. _She slayed Jaberwocks, but that's not something she likes... She likes tea! Especially tea time with me and Thackery. That's where she'll be. Somewhere that has tea!_

"Tarrant?" a voice called out from behind him.

Tarrant turned around to face a girl with bushy brown hair who was daintily gliding behind him. She looked different, but Tarrant would recognize that graceful walk anywhere. "Mirana! Er.. Your Majesty!"

"You are looking for our Champion, are you not?" Mirana smiled gently him.

"Why yes, actually, I find that there are some things which I must speak to her about! Like why a raven is like a writing desk? Perhaps she has figured it out since I've last seen her."

"Would you mind terribly if I accompanied you part way?" Mirana asked. "I find that I am in need of some more ingredients for my potions. I am all out of Buttered Fingers you see, and it is ever so difficult to make a good potion without them."

Harry nodded his head, "Of course! How splendiferous."

The two proceeded down the corridor, one skipping, the other gliding, and slowly started making their way down the stair cases.

"Tarrant, I believe that Alice is in the kitchens, which is that way", Mirana pointed to one direction. "I, however, will be going in the other direction. Farefallen Tarrant, and good luck!" With that, the White Queen proceeded to gracefully glide down the corridor and took a left.

_When did Mirana get brown hair that was so bushy? Never matter, the kitchen she said?_ Harry paused and laughed suddenly. Having two sets of memories, while making him most likely even more mad would help him find his way around this place. He continued skipping down in the right direction, hoping that Mirana... wait, Hermione?... was right. He stopped short as he saw a person with long blonde hair climbing out of a picture of fruit.

"Alice..." he breathed quietly. As if she heard him, the girl turned to face him and gave a large smile. It was indeed Alice. "Alice!" Harry ran toward her, needing to be near her.

"Tarrant!" she exclaimed with happiness as she ran up to meet him. "You've remembered!"

He pulled her into a tight embrace. "Yes. And I won't forget. Now that you're back with me, I don't think I can let you go, Alice."

She gave a light laugh that sounded like bells to his ears. "That might be rather impractical Tarrant."

Harry gave her a grin. "Impractical is my middle name." He pulled away to look at her, and then hugged her again. "It's been so long. Are you here to stay this time Alice?"

"What a wonderful, mad idea. Yes," she breathed quietly, leaning into his hug. "I'm staying. Wild Heffalumps couldn't keep me away."

Harry pulled back his head slightly, and tilted her chin up at him. Angling his head, he leaned down to press his lips softly against hers. Even if she for some reason couldn't keep her word and had to leave again, he wanted, no, _needed_, this memory of them.

She responded eagerly to his kiss, and deepened it, wrapping her arms around his neck. When they pulled away for air, she giggled. "If only my mother were here," she laughed, "she'd be completely and utterly horrified."

"Why?"

"Because she doesn't know how to have fun."

"How sad," he said, looking genuinely upset that someone didn't know how to have fun.

"But she doesn't matter," Alice breathed quietly. "I'm here, with you, and that's all that counts. Maybe now we can find out why a raven is like a writing desk."

Harry nodded, with a large grin on his face. Kissing her softly again, he rested his forehead against hers. "That sounds wonderful. I'll teach you how to Futterwacken now."

"Yes. But first, we must find you a hat. After all, what is a hatter without a hat?"

**DONE! Thank you all so much for the reviews and your kind words! I loved all of your suggestions and encouragement! I never thought that this little crack fic of mine would get so much attention. I'm flattered, and very appreciative of all of your support. I'm so incredibly sorry that it took me so long to write this chapter. I just couldn't find my muse until now. And one reviewer gave me the idea that Hermione should be brewing a potion with Buttered Fingers. While this may not be exactly what you had in mind, I thought it would be fun to use your idea a bit. And yes... Heffalumps. I enjoyed watching Winnie the Pooh when I was younger. Teehee. Farefallen!**

**~Shiro**


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